Friday, October 19, 2012
I wake up this morning to find a blog about fear, (Ironic!) (http://thoughtsfromayodelinggoatherder.blogspot.com/) which was very funny as I'd just finished listening to the songs from the movie above, "Fearless". (Great song!)
This blog was very powerful and a good lesson on fear and how to overcome it and not let it get in your way.
Fear is a funny thing, there are real fears like what people might think of you and then irrational fears of clowns. (Never understood, then again never met a clown...)
The fears that are the most powerful are the ones that stop us from doing the things we want to and love to do. The fear of what people think of you or might think of you might stop you from doing things that will make them notice you. Like singing, acting, writing.
You're afraid they will thing badly of you, or not like what you have to show. Or worse, make fun of you.
But, the problem with that is, if you spend your life worrying about what other people think of you then you won't actually live your life. You'll spend all your time hiding in the closet praying no one opens the door and laughs at you.
I believe we spend way to much of our time and life's worrying what others think of us, a unhealthy amount of time.
The fear of what people think of you is a big fear and one hard to overcome. But, like they said in the movie, the only way to overcome your fear is to do it!
If you are afraid of singing in public then go to karaoke and sing your heart out.
You afraid of public speaking, go give a lecture.
Afraid of letting people read what you write? Then go to a Writers Meeting and hand several complete strangers your novel and let them read it.
The only way to overcome fear is to do the very thing you fear. You'll be glad you did!
Spending your life scared and hiding is no life at all, we only get a few years on this planet, and to spend them in fear of what people who don't even matter is no way to spend it!
At one point in your life you have to realize it doesn't matter what these people think of you, they are not important. All that matters is what you think of yourself and what you do, you have no one to answer to, but yourself.
So stop worrying what some complete stranger thinks of you and go do what you fear the most!
I DARE YOU!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
The President of Chick-Fil-A stated that he was against same sex marriage, which is fine. But, now suddenly 1000's of people are trying to ruin him and his business because oh my gosh! He has an opinion that isn't ours!
Now he has the whole country and the internet trying to destroy him and his business. Sure, that's all we need 100's of thousands of unemployed people in America, because you know it's not like we have millions already! Sure, let's add even more!
This man has an opinion, it might not be the opinion off everyone else, and maybe it's wrong, but that is why it's called an opinion. It doesn't have to be write or wrong, it's just what you believe.
Also, the last time I checked freedom of speech was the FIRST CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT!! Meaning you can say whatever you want (as long as it's not a threat!) and have no consequences from it. Well, apparently we no longer live in America, because anyone who speaks out against the masses is instantly destroyed and silenced or converted.
Hey, I have an idea!! Let's take the Constitution of America and use it as camp fire paper...oh wait we already are!
By persecuting Dan Cathy for his opinion we are denying him his FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT! Which last time I checked was illegal. So maybe we should focus more on the people denying us our constitutional rights and less on trivial things like Gay Marriage!
I for one am all for Gay Marriage! Do you know why?! Because everyone should have the right to be with who EVER they choose, as long as that person makes them happy then who cares. Gay Marriage does no harm to ANYONE! It's not illegal, it doesn't hurt anyone, or city, or the country, both parties are willing, and they both want it.
So, what's the big huff about?! What happened to freedom of choice?! What happened to no persecution for your choices?
Wasn't that the reason America split from England couple of hundred years ago? Because they were being persecuted for their religion? So, they decided to create a country where a person can live freely and be whatever religion, or job, or person they want to be! And that includes what sex you marry!
Since when did we become so involved in complete strangers lives?! Why do we even care! What business is it of yours if your neighbor marries his boyfriend? Does it harm you? Does it put you in danger? Does it cost you money or damages? No, none of the above!
It is NONE of our business who these people marry or don't marry, what would you do if someone broke into your wedding and arrested you for trying to marry your wife? I'm sure in a heart beat you would be screaming about constitutional rights and what not!
But, because it's something different from the norm of society we have to stop it and squash it!
It was done with the blacks, they were persecuted and enslaved, no one had the right to do that to them, yet it was done.
Women! Men, enslaved women, they had no rights, nothing!
And now it's Gays!! Men and men should never get married!
What next?! Soon it will be illegal to date another man or woman?!
Times like these that make me ashamed to be a human being. When all we are is close minded, ignorant and stuck in their ways grunts!
OK, I'm done ranting, go ahead and scream at me I'm asking for it, because I love a good debate!! I'm strong in my opinion and nothing will change my mind are you?!
Or are you just scared by new things so instead of understanding it you destroy it!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Today I read a blog by Ritesh Kala and I quite enjoyed it and it made me think about my radio show that I quit doing, and the problematic guests I had that caused me to cancel it.
Well, once it was posted I left for church, when I returned I had one very catty and mean reply to it, the person had valid points and a great reply, well it would off been great if she had not added immature comments like me working at Wal-Mart because I got angry at ONE guest, or that I was a child and lived with my mother. (Yes, I live with my mother get over it!) Those comments just made her sound even more immature and unprofessional then she was claiming I was.
They took away from all the good things she was saying, it was sad. I replied maturely and professionally, no matter how angry I was at being attacked by a complete stranger who knew nothing about the circumstances off my problems except for the 3 sentences I had posted.
How does reading 3 lines off a complicated matter make her an expert on me and my life?
She has no idea what happened that day, no one does but me, Cathy and the interviewee, so she had no right to judge me and my actions.
Did I over react? Sure, I have a nasty temper and sometimes it's impossible to control, but I'm learning and working on it, after all I'm only human. When people get attitudes with me and blame me for things that are really their fault my anger bubbles up and I unleash it on them.
Do you know why?!
Because I'm a human being and I can't control my temper sometimes, get over it!
At least I was mature enough to admit I over reacted and that I have faults and problems, that's more then most people I know.
I'd name the problem guests so my other guests who apparently missed all the nice things I said about them, wouldn't get insulted, but then the ones I named would get angry and yell at me. So, you know what, get over it all of you.
Yes, some of you sucked, and some of you were incredible guests, that doesn't give you the right to get pissed at me because apparently you have a guilty conscience for no reason what so ever.
I named no one in my blog only gave examples, and the people who they are about will know it's them, so if you know you didn't do that to me why would you get upset and feel hurt? I don't understand, you know you were a great guest so why would you get mad or upset at me? I never expected my great guests to be upset, and hear nothing from the guests I spoke about in the blog, what is this opposite day?
I used to try so hard to make everyone happy, because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but do you know what that did? Made me completely miserable, because all I ever did was try to make people happy. But, I finally realized that you can't make everyone happy, so I stopped trying and you know what I haven't been this happy since I was a child.
No that does not mean you try to make no one happy ever again, it just means that if you do something like write a blog that hurts peoples feelings even though you had NO intention of it, then you just acknowledge their thoughts and move on with your life.
You can't make a omelet without breaking a few eggs, like wise for writing, you can't write great things without hurting a few peoples feelings.
If these people get so upset over a blog that didn't even mention them, I'd hate to see how they react when someone truly attacks them.
So, no I won't apologize for my blog, but I will say I didn't mean to hurt any feelings with my blog, it was not meant for that, it was meant to only help not harm. If you got upset over it, then there is nothing I can do but tell you to try and not be so sensitive.
He talked about how people would ask him to review his books and were very rude and ignorant and didn't know how to be professional.
Now, not ALL my guests were bad, 95% of them were great guests and were very considerate, polite, didn't need to be told 50 times when to call in and where, how and all that junk.
But, it's the other 5% that made me finally cancel my radio show forever. Cathy had to much to do and was supposed to leave home for the whole month of June, so I'd be alone. That was fine but then the guests just got worse and worse.
A prime example of this, is one guest who said she had 5,000 fans and that it would be great for our pitiful radio show, but the day of the show I had technical issues (my laptop hated BlogTalkRadio!) and we ended up fighting with it for 20 minutes, when we finally got her online all was good, I asked if she would like a make-up show because I felt bad about the horrible show we had for her. She agreed, until I messaged her on FB and asked her when she would like it, then she told me she didn't want a new day as we were very unprofessional and was severely insulted because we had mentioned we did not like comedy or cared for it, and got very upset about it. I don't understand how technical difficulties makes us unprofessional.
So, I thought maybe I'd do a "What Not To Do When Asked To Be A Guest On A Radio Show"
#1: Make sure you are available on the date and time they give you.
If you cannot make the date and time don't say yes in the first place.
We had many guests say yes to us then the day of the show tell us they cannot make 6pm, can we do 7pm or 7:30pm or 4pm.
#2: Cancel a few days ahead of time, or if desperate a few hours ahead of time.
All it takes is 5 seconds to email them, leave them a message on FB, their radio wall, call them, there is nothing worse then it's time for the show and you have no guest and no reason why.
We had a guest just not show up until the show was over and when asked why they said they didn't receive any emails from us so they figured it was cancelled and decided (without trying to reach us first!) to skip the show completely.
#3: Don't yell at the hosts because you forgot when the show was.
The hosts of the show have better things to do then be your personal secretary. They don't have time to keep track of every ones schedules for them, if they did they'd be no radio show. Write down when and what time the radio show is and remember!!!
We have had guests who forgot when the show was and what time and then yelled at us because we were unprofessional because we didn't give them daily reminders of when the show was. (This is why we started interviewing only American Authors.)
#4: Keep track of time zones and plan accordingly!
Do not, and I repeat do not get angry with the hosts because their show is at 6pm their time and Midnight your time, and when you signed up you did not realize this. It is not their fault that the show is at Midnight for you, you should of thought of that before you signed up.
Like I said this was the reason we stopped interviewing authors from outside of America.
#5: If you wish to be addressed by a different name make sure to tell the hosts this before the show.
Do not get mad because the host had no information on you for the show so they did some research and found the wrong name and used it. If you wish them to not use your real name make sure you take 5 seconds to message them and tell them this, do not get angry after the fact.We had guests who got angry because we used their wrong name in the interview episode, I told them they should of given use the info she wanted us to have, her response was "You never asked for it.". Apparently supplying the Interviewer with your information before they interview you is not common sense.
Wow, just writing this blog makes me remember why I cancelled the show in the first place.
So, the next time someone asks you if you would like to be interviewed by them, come here and read what not to do and make sure that you do everything possible to make it a smooth and stress free interview. Or you may end up in one of these venting blogs about annoying and ignorant guests.
Thank for reading, and to my radio show guests who inspired this blog, thank you!!!!
Monday, July 2, 2012
Ok this is more of a rant as i'm not allowed to rant on FB....be warned!
So, it's 4pm on a Monday moms left for work, I decide I want some Strawberry Shortcake and read my Kindle! So I open my door and my stepdad walks into the bathroom in his undies from the living room where he sleeps (it's no longer a family room....it's HIS room!) he looks up at me and bitches that he has NO privacy!
Shall we reflect??
It's 4pm in the afternoon on a Monday and he's in the living room downstairs next to the kitchen where we get food in his underwear for all to see I they come downstairs then bitches because he has NO PRIVACY!!!!!!
I wonder why!!!!!!
Put some pants on you idiot you're in the living room!!!!!!!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
I was sitting at my laptop just now writing up Death Messengers my WIP (Work-In-Progress)
when it hit me, this was all perfectly normal. Sitting here chatting with Cathy, role-playing with my Canadian friend on MSN, and of course Sprinting in Facebook and writing my novel one sentence at a time.
What hit me you may ask and no it didn't hurt, it hit me that sitting at my desk writing my novel like I was doing my homework , it was perfectly normal and a part of my day and life.
Then it also hit me that, there are people out there in the world that don't sit at their computer everyday or notebooks and write novels. And that to them we're weird and strange or even amazing as we can create an entire world in our minds then put it onto paper and come out with an incredible story that WE created, they can't do any of this so to them it's incredible!
See, I've been writing for as long as I can remember, I remember sitting in WV almost 10 years at our dining room table writing up my fanfictions, I had at least 5 or 6 going at once. (See I've always had more then one story going.) So, to me writing novels and creating worlds is completely normal to me. Like I said I've been doing it for practically my whole life, it's always revolved around writing and creating and day dreaming.
I have NO idea if any of this makes sense to anyone but me, then again I'm not sure it makes sense to me either.
But, it just hit me like a brick (A painless brick!) that this is my life and it's normal for me to write for hours an end all day long and all night too, I just sort of forgot that not everyone is the way we are, obsessed with writing!
I just wanted to share my sudden realization with you all! I'm sorry if this is rambles and repeats it's self...a lot!
Now get back to your normal life! (Well, normal for you that is!)
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Today I was chatting with Denise Kennedy, a very lovely woman. We decided to start a "Random Acts of Kindness" club in MasterKoda group on Facebook! The idea is to send things to people who need cheering up, like cookies and happy things! No, this blog isn't about the club, but it is important to what I'm going to be talking about.
My subject today heart ache!
Many people have been through it, whether from a friend, family member, lover. There are different forms of heart ache!
You're sad because your friend is no longer around, whether left or died, a family member had died and you miss them, these things all count as heart ache. But, there is one kind of heart ache I'm going to focus on, romantic heart ache.
In January of this year I broke up with my boyfriend who'd I'd been dating for over a year, probably the longest boyfriend I've ever had.
I don't get along well with guys, as they are very touchy feely and horny and I'm not. So, most guys leave me and go find a girl they can touch and feel and bang.
I'm also not as prissy and girly and I guess mature as other girls my age, also makes it harder to date guys. But, I find it doesn't bother me as I'm not really a "I need a guy!!!" girl. Where some girls need a boyfriend to have a life or be a person, me I'm my own person single, I don't need a guy to complete me, and that makes them furious. I got this from my awesome mother, who is the same way, and taught me to be the strong, independent woman I am today. (Well, independent from men anyways :-P)
Back to my break-up! We broke up in January and I was very pissed, at him, his new girlfriend he got a week later, at life, at me, at everything! Then I went into my usual thing of "I don't care!! Whatever!!" which my friend told me if I didn't care I wouldn't be pissed right now, which was right, but I didn't want to hear it, as the "Whatever" was a defense mechanism to stop me from cracking and melting.
Once I was done with the "Whatever!!" thing, I went to the "I don't need him, I'm going to become a NEW me!!" so, I cut my hair, colored it and changed my look, but that lasted about a week, then the depression sunk in. And I spent the next FOUR MONTHS sitting on my bed drinking pop and eating junk food while I watched TV. I didn't go outside, I didn't write, I didn't see people, I quit all my activities, I just became a hermit and the worst part was, I didn't even know it. (Did that rhyme?)
It wasn't until like April that I slowly came out of my funk and started to go outside, slowly bit by bit. First shopping, then McDonalds to write, then to church I hadn't been to in 4 months. Let's just say being a hermit for 4 months isn't fun, especially if you go to a University with several thousand people in it, then cause yourself to have a panic attack when you enclose yourself in a building with them. (My first ever!! Thanks to Kim Mutch Emerson who helped me through it!!!)
I realized that I had become a Hermit after my attack, and that maybe 4 months alone was probably a bad idea, so I started going outside again, and doing things, and people made me realize that just because some guy dumped me for no reason doesn't mean i have to close myself off from the world and give up. That it was his loss not mine, and I could do way better anyways. At first I didn't believe them and wouldn't listen, but after a while I realized they were right and that I'd forgotten who I was,and that I didn't need a man to be happy or have a life! That I was perfectly happy before I had him as a boyfriend and I could be again without him!
So, I shook it off, started writing again, got a great online job making good money, got a publishing contract from a small press, and got on with my life.
I am now at the point where I can even chat with my ex and hang out with him, as it doesn't bother me, we had a lot of fun together and I realized we still could even as friends.
I anger and hatred I felt towards him went away and was replaced with only wanting him and his new girlfriend (Who I never hated!) only happiness. After all if he had to date someone I'm glad it was her as she was the only one of his friends I truely liked.
So, I'm back to my old self and now know that with or without a guy I can be happy and have a great life, and that as long as I remember that I will be fine, whether I die alone or with a huge family!
Thanks for reading my ramblings, and i hope you understood what I was trying to say as I'm not sure I do! :-P