I was born 2-3 months early and had some sorry HAVE some developmental issues! But I never let it stop me I learned to walk, talk even was potty trained at 1 and half (I think my mom said) I even learned to read at 4 years old! By school time I could read, write and spell my name by age 5! Not bad for premature!
But once I got into school I started to have problems....I needed extra help!
Well 1995 I came to America and I was put into LD! (Learning Disability!) so then I got labelled stupid by my brothers and friends! I had "B"s and "C"s in school even a occasional "A"! Graduated a year late as we moved to a new state in my Senior Year! My new school I had a 4.0 GPA and was on the Honor Roll for a few semeters even made the swim team! Again not bad for a premature LD (retarded!) child! Or so I was labelled.
I graduated in 2004 when everyone from my old school said I never would, graduating when told I never would was a great feeling and my greatest accomplishment yet! That might sound sad to you as graduating for you was no sweat, but for me it was hard to do, but I did it!
Yet still 6-7 years later I'm still considered retarded by my friends and family especialy my brothers!
What brought on my life story??
I'm trying to change my life and start fresh in my home country of England? I have family there but noone will help so I messaged my brother on Facebook and asked him agreed, but then proceeded to give me a lecture on how I'm not mature enough to be on my own, how I need to be coddled and taken care off like some mentally retarded person. Also that I dont know the meaning of hard work and that I will fail because I dont know how to work to care for myself! That hurt as I realized to him I was still that retarded litle girl who was put into LD because she was stupid.
He has not seen me in many years having gone back to UK over 5 years ago! So he has no right to judge me on his old opinions and memories of me!
I have been working hard to make money since I was 21! Taking any odd job I could grab just to make a few bucks! Nannying for 8 years for horrible bosses and worse kids with lousy pay and long hours and commute! But I took them as they were the only jobs available! Only to be told I have NO work ethic, NO experience and NO brains to keep a job! On many occasion by many people!
I am FAR from retarded having met retarded people, yet I'm still constantly treated as the stupid lil girl who couldnt pass math and was labelled stupid and shoved into LD!
This blog is about breaking the mold that you were cast in as a child and telling those people who are keeping you down that you ARE more then that and you WILL become more then you are now!
Show them all that you can do ANYTHING if you put your mind to it!!
BREAK THE MOLD!!!!
Very powerful subject Sian. Many, many people get the same treatment as you did (including my son), and people never see them for who they truly are, nor can they ever show people what they are truly capable of.
ReplyDeleteWhen you have a learning disability, or are mentally challenged in other ways, life has thrown you a big curveball that you have to try with all your might to hit and in some cases, miss. You just stand at that plate and wait for it to come around again (and it will....) and take another swing. Its when you stop swinging that you have proved to those narrow minded people....that they were right...... Hugs!
Thanks Melanie!! I will never stop swinging and will never prove them right! :-D
DeleteSian Alexis Young, I've been fighting a losing battle with the world of writing, trying to directly educate the world thru my writing. I have a chemical imbalance in my brain. I am probably the guy they were thinking about when they made the movie, Forrest Gump. I'm a schizophrenic adult. Please look at my blog. http://geostan51.wordpress.com I can relate to being discriminated against because I have a disability. It's been happening since I was 20. I'm 61.
DeleteWow! That's a long time to be discriminated against! I'm sorry!
DeleteGood for you, Sian! I love how you refuse to accept the parameters others have created for you--what do they know? But the biggest thing for you to remember? You have NOTHING to prove to them or anyone else. Part of breaking the mold is letting go of needing them to see you've done it. KEEP ROCKING!! (and writing :) )
ReplyDeleteYes, Patti that was a lesson that was hard for me to learn! Stop trying to be someone I'm not be the person I am! :-D
DeleteI think you have stated your case very well, Sian.
ReplyDeleteYou have overcome much and are proving yourself.
Thank you very much oldentimes! That means alot! :-D
DeleteIts super-frustrating to have some social stigma from your past following you around in the present. I admire the civil but strong stance you're taking and how you are working so hard to be the person you want to be (and are!).
ReplyDeleteI hope your friends & family, people who have known you for ages, can clear their mental cache and take a fresh look at the lovely, intelligent, determined, funny gal you are. Because I 'met' ya with fresh eyes and I don't see you 'limited' or anything of the sort.
So rock on, Sian! Great post. :D
~P.P.
Thank you Penelope!! I really appreciate the support and kind words! :-D
DeleteAw *huge hugs* You do it for yourself, girl! I have some disabilities that made certain things impossible for me as well. I also was put in extra classes to help me work with it. Even now on particularly hard days I have to ask my children to repeat themselves several times. I don't do it to be a jerk, but I literally can't understand them when they talk so quickly. You break that mold, Sian and remember you have lots of friends that love you and are here with you. :D
ReplyDeleteThank you Misty!! *Hugs* Love you too! :-D
DeleteYou did everything for your self no matter what anyone said you kept going and that is the most important thing . I am very proud of you !
ReplyDeleteThank you Vesna!! I really appreciate that! :-D
DeleteI don't know a person that hasn't had trouble of some sorts in school. I flunked math class in ninth grade, and I had to take the class over then next year. I had to also take a class for slow readers, but I turned out fine once I found books I liked to read.
ReplyDeleteMy son is in a regular class the is actually a special ed class with two teachers. None of the kids know the difference. He does regular forth grade work, but he gets less problems to do.
Point is that you're not stupid. We all need help at some point, and it's wrong of those people to have treated you as different. I'm about as different as can be. I hate that I didn't see how smart I was back then.
Never let anyone determine how you should feel about yourself. You're a very smart woman Sian, keep on writing. :)
I always knew I wasn't stupid, but no one else would listen to me! I excelled when given hard work and a chance, but it was very rare, sadly the school I attended for this only cared about Gov. funding.
DeleteWell done Sian. You showed grit, courage and determination. Most of all YOU made yourself what you are. You should be proud.
ReplyDeleteThank you Brad!! I really appreciate all your comments!
DeleteGreat job Sian!!I am so proud of you and you are doing quite well. keep up that determination and stay here!!
ReplyDeleteLove you Cathy!!! *Hearts*
DeleteHI
ReplyDeleteSian, you have a few misconceptions of your own here--having a learning disability--and being in classes with other students with learning disabilities doesn't make them mentally retarded, either.
Learning disabilities are caused by a wide variety of reasons. There are people that test at genius level that have a learning disability.
People that are in fact mentally retarded are also no less than another person. They struggle just as hard with the 'label' of retarded. It's an insulting label for them as well.
I was put in special ed in third grade. Within a few days, it was discovered that my 'disability' was poor vision. That teacher that realized I didn't belong in her class is what led me to become a special education teacher years later.
My own stepdaughter tested as high level mentally retarded. She wasn't--she simply was so painfully shy that she was afraid to talk to the psychologist or to answer the test questions for fear of doing them wrong.
It's never right for anyone to make assumptions based on classes. It's just as wrong for someone that benefited from those classes to call them 'retarded' classes.
People with severe learning disabilities can, of course, learn. They learn differently. People that are considered 'mentally handicapped' also overcome great challenges. They can and do overcome those disabilities and become self-sustaining adults.
When you're considering your own situation with your less-than-sympathetic family, also consider how someone that is genuinely mentally handicapped might feel reading your post.
You have passed up a great opportunity to educate those without disabilities.
I wish you the best. It is tough to overcome and be self-sufficient--especially when those closest to you are belittling your efforts.
Avoid those people and spend your time with those that offer you support.
I know! All the people in my LD classes were normal, there was nothing wrong with them, but the more students in LD the more money the school got, so they threw kids with bad grades in whether they needed help or were just lazy! So, I never called these kids mentally retarded....everyone ELSE did!
DeleteSian, this is a very powerful and thought provoking post. I admire you for what you have had to overcome in order to be where you are today.
ReplyDeleteThank you Terresa!! I guess "Give Up" was never really an option for me, I didn't know it at the time but it was! LOL!
DeletePowerful post Sian and very honest. Also brave to come forward and admit what you have been through. Many people do their best to hide anything that is not perfect. You will do well wherever you decide to live.
ReplyDeleteI'm far from perfect and that doesn't bother me one bit! Being perfect is to much work, because you can't slip a tiny inch! It's so much easier being yourself, if you slip who cares, makes you all the more real!
DeleteTook me a while to realize to be myself and stop trying to make everyone happy!
Danny Kemp (Not Clarke Hickling.) I hope that you keep this approach to life and discover more about yourself and how far you can go trusting in your own abilities. Your confidence will grow and become stronger as you challenge each of those things that have hung heavily on you. By facing them here, publicly, you show great courage and self-belief. Let that six letter phrase we spoke of me your own motto and live the life that you want Sian. This first step was hard to take, lets hope the rest will come easier, but if you do trip, carry on in this belief that you have shown here. Good luck in whatever life throws at you, and remember that's it's you that count first in your life. Six letters.eh?
ReplyDeleteThis blog started out as a post on MasterKoda.com where I wanted it to get off my chest, but as it grew in length I knew I had to make it a blog post!
DeleteIt felt good to say this and get it all off my chest, by saying it out loud (Oh you know what I mean! :-P) I realized how much I'd over come and achieved and was shocked myself! It never seems that much while you're going through it!
I will take your comment to heart as well as Steven Harts!! (It's a lil nicer :P)
I've always been good at looking at an issue from multiple angles so forgive me for taking your brother's side at least for a little while. To begin with, big brothers are generally expected to take care of their little sisters, and it looks to me like, in your case, big brother took his job rather seriously. This is not something easily turned off when little sister grows up. His lecture might have made you feel like that little girl back in the learning disabled class, but really, what did you expect? Did you want him to hand you $100 and say "Here you go, sis. See you later."? You said yourself that you two hadn't seen each other for years, so in his mind, you really were that little girl from school. I know this because it's very hard for me to picture my niece who now has 4 kids of her own as anything other than the little girl of maybe 3 running away from mommie right after her bath. And as far as your work ethic, think of your work history on a resume and be sure to list previous employers' recommendations. Such information includes 9 to 5 jobs with a list of benefits and advancement opportunities. It is this kind of information that people understand as work ethic, not how hard you work at any given job. So, all that said. Appologize to your brother and thank him for helping you and for being a proper big brother and then get out there and prove to the world you are far more than some statistics chronicled on paper. Go get 'em, girl.
ReplyDeleteSain,my daughter arrived in this world 5 months early and weighed 1lbs 10oz she measured 6" and had not developed her heart or lungs (they were still one organ) her eyes were sealed shut for lack of occular developement. The list was long and intimidating. The doctors told me to hold off naming her because she only had a 5% chance of making it.Her brain was bleeding and had to be drained but they would only operate if she lived 24 hrs.
Delete18 years latter Stephanie is an intelligent healthy individual with her own mind and ways.
The school held her back a year because although she had passing grades, she was physically smaller. She is only 5'2" now. They told me she would never take care of herself and that she would never see well enough to function without assistance. Today she lives with my mother and cooks the meals and cleans the house. She is taking online classes at home and writing, blogging, & living her life just fine.
She is smaller and looks 12. Thus people treat her like a child. I have noticed everyones tendancy to underestimate her, even mine. She is a special miracle
in our lives and we are very protective again sometimes over protective.This is how our love is displayed.
In dealing with your family remember this. The only person that can change the way others perceive you is you. Look at the things in your own behavior that may allow these childhood stigmas to cling to you and shake them off.
I know what I went through as an ADHD child. I was also misdiagnosed as dislexic and bipolar. Because I was bored in schooland stopped paying attention once my mother realized this things changed and I was put in a higher grade but those tags stayed with me (Crazy white girl) until I stopped letting them influence me.
It is a hard thing to do but you sound like maybe you are ready.